Last week I got back from the Nightclub and Bar Show in beguiling downtown Las Vegas. The main reason to go to this show is that for a small pittance you are able to get VIP access to many a nightclub that typically would scoff at my kind. Although I wouldn’t call myself unattractive, the beauty typically prancing around such venues certainly makes me take a second glance in the mirror to recognize a loathsome crease over my lip and that my hands and nubby fingernails look like I work in a commercial laundry.
Nonetheless, there are always some highlights. One, the waterfall in Tito’s Handmade Vodka booth. I’ve found this extremely hard to explain, but on the back wall of their booth was a 15-foot waterfall. The water was digitally mastered so that at certain times a drop of water wouldn’t fall so that so many drops that didn’t fall at the same time created a negative image against the water. Obviously, Tito had their logo up and some information about being one of the best vodkas in the world. As for the vodka, was quite smooth and interesting, as they distill it out of corn.
One of the cutest things I saw and I can’t wait to bring it into the restaurant were the tea bags that Tea Forte does. Seriously, they are the most adorable tea bags in the world and the tea is superb with nice bright flavor and minimal astringency. Each tea bag is a perfect silken four-sided pyramid. Instead of a string to pull the bag out after steeping, the top has a perfectly sculpted stem and leaf rising from the point of the pyramid. As for their flavors – AMAZING! They have really creative combinations such as citrus mint, orchid vanilla, and ginger pear.
One of the tackiest things I saw were Filthy Pickles, who’s tagline is “Might make you feel sexy.” Or like you just slept with a chlamydia- infested hooker because you were so drunk you couldn’t remember your own name. Each testosterone-induced oversized green olive is filled with a tiny pickle. They come in a dildo shaped package and were handed out by a guy that makes Pee Wee Herman seem like a legit babysitter. As he handed me the plastic pickle peeny, he said, “Enjoy! That’s the sight of a hard little pickle fucking an olive.” Can’t wait to put that in my mouth.
Anyhow, kudos to the girls of Crater Lake Vodka who actually knew the product they were selling and did it without taking all of their clothes off.
Nightclub and Bar Convention and Tradeshow 2010
- Columbine Quillen I am a bartender and this is my blog.