A friend of mine just sent this to me and I couldn’t help myself but comment on the entire thing. It was first published in the New York Times on October 29, 2009.
As it would be too much to read all at once, I am breaking it into four part. Buschel’s statements are in black, my commentary is in orange and in italics.
76. Do not ask if a guest is finished the very second the guest is finished. Let guests digest, savor, reflect.
Once again, I don’t like dirty service items on the table. I would rather digest, savor, and reflect without a dirty sauce stained plate and a saliva-ridden fork in my sight.
77. Do not disappear.
Never.
78. Do not ask, “Are you still working on that?” Dining is not work — until questions like this are asked.
Ah, a huge pet peeve of mine. Rather “Are you still enjoying that?”
79. When someone orders a drink “straight up,” determine if he wants it “neat” — right out of the bottle — or chilled. Up is up, but “straight up” is debatable.
Depends on what the person orders. Lagavulin – definitely doesn’t want it shaken in a cocktail glass. Grey Goose – should ask.
80. Never insist that a guest settle up at the bar before sitting down; transfer the tab.
I would agree with this except I have worked at a lot of restaurants that don’t have a good computer system for transfers and the house loses a lot of money (from transfers that never transferred). Obviously, a restaurant in the business of making money and selling drinks to people and if the house doesn’t have a good way to transfer checks – then it makes sense to have people cash out at the bar. But every restaurant that does a lot of bar transfers should ensure that the tip out is being paid on the transfers, because that’s where the problem lies. We transfer about 90% of the tabs from people that move off the bar into the dining room and it is no big deal as I know I will get paid from my transfers.
81. Know what the bar has in stock before each meal.
The server should know the entire 86 list and low count going into service. It doesn’t matter what the product is.
82. If you drip or spill something, clean it up, replace it, offer to pay for whatever damages you may have caused. Refrain from touching the wet spots on the guest.
Did you say, “Touch the wet spots on the guest?”
83. Ask if your guest wants his coffee with dessert or after. Same with an after-dinner drink.
Smart way to make one last sale.
84. Do not refill a coffee cup compulsively. Ask if the guest desires a refill.
Of course, although there are much more disturbing peeves of eating out.
84(a). Do not let an empty coffee cup sit too long before asking if a refill is desired.
Or perhaps it should never go empty.
85. Never bring a check until someone asks for it. Then give it to the person who asked for it.
Totally disagree with this. I think it is fine to put down the check after dessert or after dinner if the guest doesn’t want dessert. That way, if they want to pay and leave they can and if they want to sit and stay the can. There isn’t any pressure to pay, but it sucks when you are ready to leave and you have to wait for the server to get the check when you could have just reached over at your convenience when you were ready for it.
86. If a few people signal for the check, find a neutral place on the table to leave it.
Of course.
87. Do not stop your excellent service after the check is presented or paid.
That is a pet peeve of mine also. For as long as the guest is in the restaurant, they need to be serviced. Waters should stay full and if they are there for a long time, another round of drinks should be offered.
88. Do not ask if a guest needs change. Just bring the change.
I agree, it’s tacky to ask.
89. Never patronize a guest who has a complaint or suggestion; listen, take it seriously, address it.
Of course.
90. If someone is getting agitated or effusive on a cell phone, politely suggest he keep it down or move away from other guests.
Ah, easier said than done.
91. If someone complains about the music, do something about it, without upsetting the ambiance. (The music is not for the staff — it’s for the customers.)
Yes, but if it is only one guest who doesn’t like the music and all the other guests do – that is where the problem lie.
92. Never play a radio station with commercials or news or talking of any kind.
I completely agree.
93. Do not play brass — no brassy Broadway songs, brass bands, marching bands, or big bands that feature brass, except a muted flugelhorn.
Where have you been where they were playing marching band music?
94. Do not play an entire CD of any artist. If someone doesn’t like Frightened Rabbit or Michael Bublé, you have just ruined a meal.
Isn’t there an ASCAP issue with this?
95. Never hover long enough to make people feel they are being watched or hurried, especially when they are figuring out the tip or signing for the check.
Hovering is just in poor taste anyhow.
96. Do not say anything after a tip — be it good, bad, indifferent — except, “Thank you very much.”
Tipping is perhaps the touchiest subject in the industry – so I do not feel the need to comment on it.
97. If a guest goes gaga over a particular dish, get the recipe for him or her.
Recipes are someone’s craft and a piece of their soul. The hope is that a guest goes gaga for a dish and keeps coming back for it, not that she makes it in her own kitchen. This just really depends on the restaurant and how much of their secrets they are willing to give away. But quite honestly, most high-end restaurant food involves a lot of skill and tools that the average person doesn’t have. So the recipe probably won’t do them much good anyhow.
98. Do not wear too much makeup or jewelry. You know you have too much jewelry when it jingles and/or draws comments.
Depends on the restaurant.
99. Do not show frustration. Your only mission is to serve. Be patient. It is not easy.
100% agree with this. The sign of a true professional.
100. Guests, like servers, come in all packages. Show a “good table” your appreciation with a free glass of port, a plate of biscotti or something else management approves.
Bonus Track: As Bill Gates has said, “Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.” (Of course, Microsoft is one of the most litigious companies in history, so one can take Mr. Gates’s counsel with a grain of salt. Gray sea salt is a nice addition to any table.)
I cannot agree with this more. Be good to your good guests. There are a lot of nasty people in this world who think that their bitterness and meanness will get them something for free. But why should we cater to people who won’t appreciate a warm gift of generosity. Better to save it for people who least expect it, for the people that it will blow their socks off, for the people who will recognize that you care and you appreciate them coming in and spending their hard-earned money in your restaurant. These are the people that I love bending over backwards for – because it always feels good to impress someone.
I guess the most important thing to remember is that most people act like they have been treated and if you are nice and respectful of your server – for the most part, they will be nice and respectful back to you.
Thank you Bruce Buschel, I really got a kick out of this.
Things Restaurant Servers Should Never Do Part I
Things Restaurant Servers Should Never Do Part II
Things Restaurant Servers Should Never Do Part III
- Columbine Quillen I am a bartender and this is my blog.
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